Breaking Dawn – Part 1? More like Boring Yawn – Part 1, amirite?


If Carlisle can afford to give them an island as a wedding gift, why don’t the Cullens just get an island of their own and live there? You know, to avoid this whole “Let’s all go to high school over and over” business.


I’ve been putting this off, but lets’ discuss Phil. Why did they even bother making him a character? He only had one line during the first few minutes of Twilight, didn’t show up at all during New Moon or Eclipse, and he disappeared here almost as soon as he showed up.

I knocked an extra point off for the talking wolves. I know it was necessary for that scene, but it just added an extra level of silliness to an already silly film. They could have reverted to human form instead.


Why do the wolves keep getting worse?

You know how sometimes on TV, during the final season or two of a show, the characters will all start dressing differently or get new haircuts and it makes things not feel right? That’s what happened here.

Product Placement

Nothing worth noting, except maybe those briefly-shown box of…lady things.


What’s that quote about the length of movies being proportional to the endurance of the human bladder or whatever?It totally applies here.

20 comments on “Breaking Dawn – Part 1? More like Boring Yawn – Part 1, amirite?

  1. I actually like the wolf design here better than Eclipse, although they still aren’t completely up to New Moon’s level.

    Product placement wise, I can’t help but notice the prominent Apple logos.

    We definitely see these movies differently, but I do enjoy reading your take on them. Very entertaining.

  2. True the scene with the wolves talking was one of the worst things I’ve seen during this franchise; the fact that I pretty much hate all of them doesn’t help either. In its defense they could not have gone back to human form because then they would be naked and I don’t believe the 13-year-old’s parents would have appreciated that.

  3. How are you able to watch movies like this one? I’m impressed!

  4. I did say that this is ONE of the most boring movies in the list, above “Twilight” I honestly believe the first one was the worst. I did like the idea behind this though, with the demon baby. I just think it took forever to get to the point, but once it did it was alright

  5. I take great pride in the fact that I haven’t watched any of these movies for even a minute. And your reviews just confirm that that is a wise decision. :)

  6. I have read the entire saga by Stephenie Meyer, and I remember being bored to tears by how overlong Breaking Dawn was (whereas Eclipse was just…ehh), but gosh, the film exaggerated on that so much!! I think I’ll wait till next week or even the week after to subject myself to BDP2. I’m going to see Argo tonight, anyway, and if I don’t enjoy that more, I may be going insane.

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