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TIWAM’s 3rd Anniversary Contest is here!

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Now with different prizes! (More info at the link)

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This Before I Go to Sleep review will erase everything you know

Before I Go to Sleep review

Be sure to enter TIWAM’s 3rd Anniversary Contest before YOU go to sleep!

Plot

Just as soon as they’d reveal a twist that made me think I was starting to figure everything out, they’d twist things back in the other direction.

The convenient ending made everything just sort of fizzle out, though.

Characters

So it turns out I can enjoy Nicole Kidman in a movie after all. Plus, whenever Mark Strong is around, it’s hard to not give a 3 in this section.

Visuals

It’s been a while since I’ve seen such extensive use of the ever-popular blue/orangish-yellow color scheme.

Product Placement

The only thing that got any significant screen time was one of those old indestructible Nokia phones that will outlive us all.

Rewatchability

As usual, knowing how this sort of movie ends takes some of the fun out of seeing it again, but it would be a fun one to watch with easily-surprised friends.

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Let’s start a band with this Begin Again review

Begin Again review

TIWAM’s 3rd Anniversary Contest will be over in less than two weeks!

Plot

This was a pretty sloppy presentation of an otherwise great premise.

Characters

So is Hailee Steinfeld going to be the teenage daughter in every movie from now on or something?

Anyway, some of the minor characters left a bit to be desired.

Visuals

The instruments playing themselves was a fun visual. Too bad about all the shaking elsewhere, though.

Product Placement

Plenty of stuff to justify losing one point here.

Rewatchability

There was a quote in the movie that was something like, “Thirty seconds after you’re gone, we will have totally forgotten you were here.”

I think that’s a pretty accurate description of the movie itself.

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This Chef review is not from the store

Chef review

Don’t forget to cook up an entry for TIWAM’s 3rd Anniversary Contest.

Plot

You can tell Jon Favreau really poured his heart into every aspect of this movie, but it kept getting sidetracked by little subplots that didn’t go anywhere, and moments that were meant to flesh out the characters lasted a bit too long.

Characters

This movie was like an Iron Man reunion.

Despite my usual aversion to child actors, the kid wasn’t bad here.

Visuals

It seems that movies in general are getting better at displaying texts and tweets and such.

Product Placement

Several social media outlets were a central aspect of the plot, but that’s not what this section is designed to discuss.

Rewatchability

If I do see this again, it won’t be on an empty stomach next time.

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Learn the secret of the orange tree with a The Illusionist review

The Illusionist review

TIWAM’s 3rd Anniversary Contest is no illusion.

Plot

You know you’re being tricked the whole time you watch this movie, but, unlike The Prestige, they waited until the end to show you how.

And, even then, they didn’t give away all of the secrets. They left a little bit of mystery to it all, which is what magic is all about.

Characters

Every time I turn around, I’m finding proof of my “every actor I don’t like has one movie I do like” rule. This time it’s for Jessica Biel.

It did help that she was surrounded by some of my favorites.

Visuals

There were a whole lot of subtle things going on to make this look and feel like it was made during the time period the movie is set in.

Product Placement

Not even the illusion of a product made its way into this film.

Rewatchability

Even before I saw either one, I always thought this was the lesser of the two magician movies from 2006.

Turns out I had it backwards.

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You’re holding this Chairman of the Board review upside down

Chairman of the Board review

This is your daily reminder of TIWAM’s 3rd Anniversary Contest.

Plot

It’s like a Peewee’s Big Adventure / The Hudsucker Proxy crossover with hints of Billy Madison and Cool as Ice.

What I’m trying to say is…it’s been done before, and better.

Characters

The worst part about Carrot Top is that he always seems to be faking his excitement.

The rest of the cast was exactly what you’d expect from this type of movie, though.

Visuals

Plenty of fun visuals and sight gags that plant this movie firmly in the 1990s.

Product Placement

Plenty of Coke and other stuff.

Rewatchability

I’ve seen worse, but I don’t really think I could make it all the way through a second time.

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Make a long story short with a Clue review

Clue review

Click here to be clued in on TIWAM’s 3rd Anniversary Contest.

Plot

They did a great job of incorporating elements from the game in a way that would have worked even if it wasn’t based on the game.

Spending 20 minutes or so recapping everything that had already happened felt like padding, though.

Characters

I’m usually not much of a Tim Curry fan, but he pretty much stole this entire movie.

Visuals

Judging an almost-30-year-old movie based on how it looks just doesn’t seem fair. It looked fine.

Product Placement

Given my previous scoring of movies based on toys and board games, a 1 here is pretty much a requirement.

Rewatchability

One of the endings was great, one of the endings was okay, and one of the endings was kind of dumb.

Since I watched the “show all three endings together” version, I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt.

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This Aurora Borealis review is where Grandpa’s Little Helper draws the line

Aurora Borealis review

TIWAM’s 3rd Anniversary Contest. It’s still happening.

Plot

Who knew a movie about suicide, dementia and wasting your life could make a great romantic comedy?

Characters

That’s it. I’ve found my favorite Donald Sutherland role. I think knowing that he was acting made his performance even more amazing.

Visuals

After yesterday’s visual disaster, a nice, well-lit movie that used tripods is great to see.

Product Placement

Well, the Mall of America isn’t technically a product…

Rewatchability

I think I might cry if I watch this again…but since when is crying a bad thing?

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This John Wick review is scattered among the rest

John Wick review

Yet another reminder that there are 18 days remaining to enter TIWAM’s 3rd Anniversary Contest.

Plot

The incredibly thin “plot” felt like an excuse to show mindless violence for an hour and a half.

Characters

Alfie Allen did a terrible job, or maybe his character was just terribly written (a rule I call the “Kristen Stewart Twilight Defense”).

Visuals

The entire movie was dimly lit and heavily filtered, and in that one scene they managed to combine those two aspects together with seizure-inducing strobe lights…a trifecta of terrible visuals.

Product Placement

That early scene with Keanu driving around on a runway almost felt like a car commercial, but if it was meant to be one, he probably would have been driving a current model.

Rewatchability

It’s bad when a really short movie like this makes me regret spending money to see it in the theater.

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Go to department store jail with a The Poker House review

The Poker House review

Click here if you like winning prizes for sharing your thoughts.

Plot

This movie is based on a true story. What they forgot to include is why anyone should care about the true story.

It was mostly just people going about their miserable, depressing lives for an hour and a half.

Characters

Craziest Selma Blair role I’ve ever seen. I’m not sure why they bothered having Chloe Grace Moretz in this, though.

Visuals

They overdid it on the effects during the flashback scene.

Product Placement

Egg McMuffins, Goldfish crackers, Chex mix…So many odd conversations about food items.

Rewatchability

The silly “singing in the car” scene at the end almost made the rest of the movie worth suffering through.

Almost.

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This is not a shoe. It’s a Snowpiercer review

Snowpiercer review

Hurry! Less than 3 weeks left to enter TIWAM’s 3rd Anniversary Contest!

Plot

This movie had sort of a whimsical steampunk vibe at times that these dystopian movies don’t usually have.

Too bad a lot of it felt like watching someone else play a video game, though.

Characters

Wow. Tilda Swinton is really good at impersonating my high school history teacher.

Visuals

I suppose action scenes on a crowded, moving train would constitute shaking cameras, so I won’t do anything about it this time.

Product Placement

Unless they start selling those nasty protein blocks somewhere, then there was nothing.

Rewatchability

I may not be able to see it straight through again, but I’d be willing to watch it in chunks, I guess.

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