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The Iceman cometh…for this Another 48 Hours review

Another 48 Hours review

Plot

At least this one was a little more structured than the first one…but that’s not exactly saying a whole lot.

Characters

Is it just me, or did Eddie Murphy seem like he didn’t want to be in this movie?

Visuals

Just as much improvement in the visuals department as you’d expect.

Product Placement

Mostly just stuff in bars and at sporting events, which I rarely count.

Rewatchability

If they ever make 48 Hours More or 49 Hours or whatever they decide to name a third installment, I’ll probably be there…but I won’t be returning to this.

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Find another seat for this Flirting with Disaster review

Flirting with Disaster review

Plot

Even if you ignore the non-ending, the first half could have benefited from the energy of the second half.

Characters

Do I really need to bring up my infatuation with Téa Leoni’s voice again?

Visuals

Not quite enough shaky cam for me to do anything about it.

Product Placement

Continental Airlines much?

Rewatchability

I probably won’t.

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I’ll file a report tomorrow about this 48 Hours review

48 Hours review

Plot

There wasn’t a whole lot of purpose behind the prisoner leaving jail. What they accomplished could have been done with information alone.

Characters

It took too long for Eddie Murphy to show up, and Nick Nolte’s girlfriend was a little pointless.

Visuals

When a movie is (barely) older than I am, it’s hard to complain about the way it looks.

Product Placement

There were a few things that could possibly be argued, but why would you?

Rewatchability

Eh, I prefer my comedies less violent and angry…but I’m still going to watch the second one.

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This I.Q. review is like death, but in a good way

IQ review

Plot

It was funny enough in places, but this premise was almost too weird to work.

Characters

Walter Matthau did a great job of being Albert Einstein, but Meg Ryan’s character’s mix of stupid and smart was annoying.

Visuals

I have no complaints.

Product Placement

Not even any time-period-establishing billboards.

Rewatchability

It’s harmless enough, I suppose.

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You know I can’t start the day without an Undertaking Betty review

Undertaking Betty review

Apparently, this movie is also known as Plots with a View.

Plot

The perfect combination of silly and sweet.

Characters

Most of the silliness came courtesy of Christopher Walken, and most of the sweetness came from Alfred Molina and Brenda Blethyn.

Visuals

Almost every time there was a scene change, the two adjoining actions were somehow related.

Product Placement

Did the town of Wrottin-Powys even have any stores?

Rewatchability

I didn’t expect to like it this much.

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How is it that the clouds still hang on this Hamlet review?

Hamlet review

Plot

They did a pretty good job of modernizing the play, even though parts of it are already outdated.

Characters

The Shakespearean dialog I can deal with, but Ethan Hawke was inconsistent…mumbling one minute and yelling the next.

Visuals

The movie-within-a-movie was pretty cool.

Product Placement

I’m pretty sure that obviously-placed Pepsi One machine and the Blockbuster (among other things) weren’t in the original play.

Rewatchability

This is a “once is plenty” kind of movie.

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Go walkabout with a Crocodile Dundee review

Crocodile Dundee review

How about a leftover review from 2013? Slightly modified for modern audiences, of course.

Plot

Just seems to be a typical fish out of water story that ends way too abruptly. It didn’t really feel like anything was accomplished.

Characters

Paul Hogan was fun, but the naivety of his character got old after a while.

Visuals

The crocodile puppet was nicely done. Practical effects still beat CGI any day.

Product Placement

Hey look it’s the “can’t avoid product placement in New York” rule again.

Rewatchability

This movie was a lot blander than I thought it would be.

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This The Out of Towners review is tender to the touch, just like me

The Out of Towners review

Plot

If you squint really hard, this is like an alternate universe version of Before Sunrise.

No, I won’t elaborate.

Characters

It felt like two perfectly normal people were pretending to be annoying.

Visuals

The lighting seemed fuzzy at times, but that’s probably due to the whole “having to watch these in movies in low resolution thanks to unfair data caps” thing I bring up all the time.

Product Placement

As usual, a New York setting means pretty much complete exemption from this section.

Rewatchability

Someday I’ll find a Steve Martin movie I love, in contrast to all of these that I simply “don’t hate”.

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This Three Kings review is the most important thing in life

Three Kings review

Plot

The seriousness of the war and violence did not blend well with the lighthearted tone they tried to give the movie elsewhere.

Characters

The fourth guy (the one who didn’t make it onto the poster) was incredibly annoying.

Visuals

There were a lot of weird effects like lowered frame rates and odd color choices that made this movie feel like a cheesy music video.

Product Placement

There was a little bit of stuff in the REDACTED, but not enough to deal with.

Rewatchability

If I want to see George Clooney try to steal bags full of riches, I’ll just watch Ocean’s Eleven again.

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The most beautiful thing in the world, of course, is this Cast Away review

Cast Away review

Plot

Don’t you think 30 minutes before he gets to the island and 30 minutes after he gets off the island is a bit much?

Characters

He’s not one of my favorites, but once he stopped yelling, “Hey! Help!”, Tom Hanks was pretty good here.

Visuals

My only wish is that they had done more with the Lord of War-style “follow the item on its journey” style shot in the beginning.

Product Placement

FedEx wasn’t paid for their use in this movie, but using a fake company would not have negatively affected the movie overall.

I have to at least pretend this section is consistently scored.

Rewatchability

It takes a little too much dedication for repeated viewings in close proximity.

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