Leave a comment

Read this Action Jackson review with your faraway eyes

Action Jackson review

Plot

It’s like a James Bond movie, a buddy cop movie, and an action movie all in one, with plenty of comedy along the way.

Could this be…the perfect movie?

Characters

Nobody could have pulled this character off quite like Carl Weathers.

Craig T. Nelson makes a great sleazy bad guy. He should do it more often.

Visuals

I mentioned smoke in one of my recent (currently unpublished) reviews. It was here, too, but not quite as bad.

Product Placement

Sure, there’s lots of car companies in the opening montage, but how else are you going to introduce Detroit in a positive light?

Rewatchability

The only problem I have with this movie is that is was way too short.

Find out more!  Don't miss tomorrow's review!

6 Comments

This Transcendence review is good enough for the monkey

Transcendence review

Plot

I have never before felt like a movie was actively fighting against me in my attempts to enjoy it…until now.

Characters

It was nice to see Johnny Depp in a role where he wasn’t wearing a silly hat for a change, but the R.I.F.T. members never really seemed to pose much of a threat.

Visuals

They kept the special effects simple and believable, but that darn shaking camera got me again. I guess it was because I was in the smallest theater, which means I was closer to the screen than usual.

Product Placement

A technology-themed movie that’s full of generic technology? I guess no companies wanted to be shown aiding an out of control evil computer consciousness.

Rewatchability

I wanted to love this movie. I really did. Despite being far from original, it is still a fun concept. It just didn’t work here.

Find out more!  Don't miss tomorrow's review!

Leave a comment

An authentically nice Better Living Through Chemistry review

Better Living Through Chemistry review

Plot

If I may (and I may because it’s my review), I’d like to describe this movie as a mixture between Fight Club, American Flyers, the 2004 version of Employee of the Month, all wrapped up in a comedy.

Characters

Sam Rockwell…still great in everything. Ray Liotta seemed less greasy and plastic than usual here, too.

Maybe I’m missing something, but I just didn’t get the point of Jane Fonda being the narrator and then showing up in the end in a “wow, look who it is” kind of way.

Visuals

I loved the miniatures during the opening credits, especially since the credits were incorporated into the miniatures.

Product Placement

They didn’t even use the real US Postal Service in this movie. I know you have to have permission because of that one time South Park did it without permission.

Rewatchability

Sometimes I decide to watch movies based on the title alone (i.e. Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death), and sometimes I enjoy movies that I think are going to be forgettable.

Find out more!  Don't miss tomorrow's review!

2 Comments

This At Middleton review is in the building next to the building behind that building

At Middleton review

Apparently, this movie was originally called Middleton.

Plot

So many dorky parent jokes. I loved it!

On the downside, though, there was a certain point around the one hour mark where the movie could and should have ended, but they kept it going for another 40 minutes for some reason.

Characters

Andy Garcia and Vera Farmiga. They rhyme, they’re two of my favorites, and they’re together in this movie. What’s not to love?

Plus, I love that Vera Farmiga and her sister played mother and daughter.

Visuals

I had something positive and generic written here, but that extended sun glare near the end almost blinded me.

Product Placement

Several Dasani waters, some Diet Coke, some regular Coke…They’re the only beverages that showed up, but they’re both from the same company, so it’s gotta be on purpose.

Rewatchability

The length thing is going to keep me from rushing back, but if for some reason you consider my opinion before watching movies**, I’d say go for it at least once.

**Why would you do that?

Find out more!  Don't miss tomorrow's review!

2 Comments

Corner the midget market with a Little Black Book review

Little Black Book review

Plot

A romantic comedy with depth and twists that’s about the main character finding happiness through her own accomplishments rather than a relationship?

Sign me up!

Characters

My ongoing extensive research continues to show that Brittany Murphy was…pretty great.

Visuals

Enough fun camera tricks to show that they cared about what the movie looked like.

Product Placement

Is there any scene in this movie where Brittany Murphy isn’t drinking Mt. Dew?

Oh, wait. What I meant to say was that this is basically Palm Pilot: The Movie.

Rewatchability

I may to have to give up one of the other DVDs in my personal collection so that this one will fit on the shelf.

Find out more!  Don't miss tomorrow's review!

4 Comments

This Changing Lanes review is a present for the judge

Changing Lanes review

Plot

If Crash hadn’t been so bloated, xenophobic, and unresolved…it would have been this movie.

Characters

This is the third movie in a row that I’ve seen Kevin Sussman in, and I can’t remember seeing him in anything before this.

Visuals

There’s a lot of left to right (and right to left) camera movement. I’m sure it happens in a lot of other movies, too, but I just happened to notice it here.

Product Placement

They managed to live in a big city and not show any product placement? Good for them.

Rewatchability

It’s been way too long since I’ve seen a movie I wished I could give a 4.0 to. You know, besides The Book Thief.

Find out more!  Don't miss tomorrow's review!

2 Comments

Go write this Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London review on your lunchbox

Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London review

Plot

This film was incredibly cartoony, and pretty much completely threw away the “normal kid who’s secretly a spy” aspect of the first film.

Characters

Some of those who appeared in the first movie were smart enough not to return, but they were replaced by stereotypes and bumbling idiots.

Visuals

How did the CGI get worse this time around?

Product Placement

So many ridiculously forced product plugs that I thought I was watching an Adam Sandler movie.

Rewatchability

A sequel so dumb it made me question my high enjoyment level of the film that came before it.

Find out more!  Don't miss tomorrow's review!

Leave a comment

Hey, pretty lady. It’s an Agent Cody Banks review

Agent Cody Banks review

Plot

I was expecting a remake of The Double 0 Kid, but with a higher budget. What I got was an admittedly entertaining spy movie.

Characters

Angie Harmon channeled Miss Congeniality-era Sandra Bulluck, but did they really need to start playing “Hot in Herre” every time she showed up?

Visuals

The CGI still seems to be holding up pretty well, all things considered.

That poster, though. Wow. That thing needs help.

Product Placement

The same specific flavor of Ruffles potato chips kept showing up several times, so I can’t ignore it.

Rewatchability

I’m pretty sure the surprisingly-large amount of raunchy jokes keep this from being the “family friendly” movie the DVD cover advertised, but I’m also pretty sure I’m not a family.

Find out more!  Don't miss tomorrow's review!

2 Comments

One is glad to share this Bicentennial Man review

Bicentennial Man review

Plot

It’s so crazy that half of the technology in this movie exists now.

This movie could have been a fun update to the whole Pinocchio story, but there were too many tonal shifts and it lasted way too long.

Characters

Whatever happened to Hallie Kate Eisenberg? She’s probably on a desert island with Jonathan Lipnicki somewhere.

The point was mostly taken off because that female robot was one of the most annoying movie characters I have ever come across.

Visuals

Lots of fun effects going on here, especially with the robotics.

Product Placement

Until personal robot assistants that your grandchildren fall in love with are widely available, there’s nothing here.

Rewatchability

This movie felt like it lasted 200 years.

Find out more!  Don't miss tomorrow's review!

4 Comments

Shake and make up, it’s a Homefront review

Homefront review

Plot

There’s something about Jason Statham movies. No matter how violent or serious (or illogical) they can get at times, they always seem to have an undertone of fun.

Characters

Speaking of which, only he could pull of a character like this without even attempting to disguise his accent.

After a really strong first scene, James Franco turned out to be a boring villain, though.

Visuals

Not too crazy about the lens flares. Or harsh neon colors. Or shaky cam.

Product Placement

There’s nothing? I’m actually a little surprised.

Rewatchability

I don’t exactly regret missing it in the theater, but I don’t regret renting it, either.

Find out more!  Don't miss tomorrow's review!