Leave a comment

TIWAM’s 3rd Anniversary Contest is here!

ContestBanner

Now with different prizes! (More info at the link)

 

Leave a comment

I have what I want with this Hateship Loveship review

Hateship Loveship review

Check it out! The 3rd Annual “Tell Me I’m Wrong” Contest has been simplified and has NEW PRIZES!

Plot

None of the actions in this movie, or the responses to those actions, made any sense whatsoever.

Characters

Kristen Wiig is so good at being sad.

Visuals

There wasn’t any reason for the camera to be moving around that much.

Product Placement

That box of Honeycomb cereal just wouldn’t go away, would it?

Rewatchability

I paused this movie several times to assemble kitchen furniture, if that is any indication of how frustrating it was to sit through.

Click here to subscribe!

Leave a comment

Ideals are peaceful. This Fury review is violent

Fury review

There’s still time to enter TIWAM’s 3rd Anniversary Contest!

Plot

The story lost all of its momentum when it got sidetracked and became a home invasion movie in the middle.

Characters

Further proof that Logan Lerman is great in everything. I would comment on Shia LaBeouf’s performance, but he didn’t really do much.

Visuals

What was with the tanks firing color coded laser beams? Otherwise, the movie was just as dirty and gritty as you’d expect.

Product Placement

There wasn’t any.

Rewatchability

Long movies like this make me want to start a “Bring Back Intermissions” movement.

Click here to subscribe!

2 Comments

Look for a shape to things with a The Best of Me review

The Best of Me review

TIWAM’s 3rd Annual “Tell Me I’m Wrong” Anniversary Contest may have a few surprises to come. Until then, click here to enter!

Plot

There’s no way the most important scene in the movie happened in the timeframe in which it was presented.

Characters

The bad guys would have had to wear top hats and twirl their mustaches while tying people to railroad tracks in order to be any more over the top.

It was nice to see Major Dad is still around, though.

Visuals

Other than the fact that the two actors playing the main male character looked nothing alike, there isn’t much to talk about here.

Product Placement

If there had been any more Budweiser in this, I would have expected Spuds McKenzie to show up.

Rewatchability

Another movie that seems content merely to exist.

Click here to subscribe!

2 Comments

This The Book of Life review is for cowards

The Book of Life review

TIWAM’s 3rd Annual “Tell Me I’m Wrong” Anniversary Contest is still happening, and YOU haven’t entered yet. What are you waiting for?

Plot

There was too much setup and not enough payoff, and the movie couldn’t decide what to do with the main female character, but dang it if this wasn’t obviously a deeply personal labor of love for Guillermo del Toro.

Characters

The “modern” kids that bookended (and occasionally interrupted) the main story were annoying.

Visuals

The character designs, and the execution of those designs, were truly unique.

Product Placement

Finally, an animated movie without any of this. They all seem to have some these days.

Rewatchability

This is one of those movies that I will eventually forget about completely, but, then again, I never regretted paying to see it.

Click here to subscribe!

6 Comments

The arrogance of man is this Godzilla review

Godzilla review

Hurry! 3 weeks left on TIWAM’s 3rd Annual “Tell Me I’m Wrong” Anniversary Contest!

Plot

Monster movies like this require two things: suspense and bad decision making…and this one has plenty of both.

Characters

They focused on the wrong human characters and didn’t give the interesting ones enough screen time.

Visuals

Godzilla looked great, but the other monsters didn’t blend well with the “real world”.

Product Placement

Godzilla was too busy destroying the city to promote any products.

Rewatchability

Yet another one I would have enjoyed in the theater…if I had only known.

 

Click here to subscribe!

14 Comments

Come quickly! I’m tasting this The Fault in Our Stars review

The Fault in Our Stars review

Plot

This movie was a good example of dimensional transcendentalism**…bigger on the inside than it appears on the outside.

**I had to look this term up. I’m not familiar with the source material.

Characters

Why did the trailer make Augustus seem like such a huge jerk? He was actually pretty tolerable.

Visuals

The way they handled texts and emails on screen was interesting.

Product Placement

Hazel may be the first movie character in history to actually use a case for her phone.

Rewatchability

When will I learn to stop judging movies on their promotional materials? I’ve been expecting not to like this for so long…but here we are.

I’ve been wrong about other movies, too. Tell me which ones, and you could win a prize in TIWAM’s 3rd Annual “Tell Me I’m Wrong” Contest!

Click here to subscribe!

Leave a comment

It will be to your advantage to read this The Railway Man review

The Railway Man review

Click here for a chance to win The LEGO Movie, just for telling me how terrible I am at reviewing!

Plot

The story itself was interesting, and the ending was beautiful, but the sloppy editing made most of the rest confusing.

Characters

Jeremy Irvine did a great job of being a younger Colin Firth, and even Nicole Kidman was okay. Perhaps her limited screen time is to credit for that, though.

Visuals

The color scheme made the movie feel old, which is exactly what they were going for, I’m sure.

Product Placement

If trains counted, this movie would be in serious trouble.

Rewatchability

This is the most frustrating movie I’ve seen in a while, and the most frustrating part of all was that it didn’t need to be.

Click here to subscribe!

4 Comments

I shouldn’t tease you with this Breach review

Breach review

TIWAM’s 3rd Annual “Tell Me I’m Wrong” Contest is still going on! Click here to enter for a chance to win The LEGO Movie!

Plot

Usually, this type of movie stays tense throughout, but this one let the tension slowly build, like a frog in boiling water.

Characters

For some reason, I always seem to think Ryan Phillippe is a terrible actor, but he’s actually been really good in everything I’ve ever seen him in.

Plus, Chris Cooper and Laura Linney are two actors I don’t get to see enough of.

Visuals

The harsh fluorescent lighting in the indoor scenes helped add a little to the tension.

Product Placement

It was so convenient that there were all those Dell computers in the hallway to replace the “dinosaurs” they had in the office.

Also convenient of that Deer Park water truck to block traffic later on.

Rewatchability

Movies this great deserve better than to be one half of a Double Feature DVD set, that’s for sure.

Click here to subscribe!

2 Comments

Make the final transition to a The Bone Collector review

The Bone Collector review

Plot

This is a mystery movie that’s easy to follow along with, yet suspenseful enough to remain exciting.

Characters

I’ve found my favorite Denzel Washington movie. Or maybe I just love movies where the main character barely moves.

Visuals

There were some really terrible day-for-night shots in what was supposed to be the afternoon, and a lot of the movie was really dark.

Product Placement

If a soda can is turned nutrition-facts-forward, it’s a pretty good chance it isn’t in the movie for advertising purposes.

Rewatchability

This was definitely a pleasant surprise. I wasn’t expecting to enjoy it much at all.

Click here to subscribe!

5 Comments

Where’s my The Judge review, old man?

The Judge review

Did you hear? TIWAM’s 3rd Annual “Tell Me I’m Wrong” Contest officially began yesterday. Click here to enter!

Plot

Each new scene felt like they were trying out a new genre to see which one stuck. Pedro Almodóvar is the only one who can completely get away with that in his movies.

Characters

Dax Shepard was actually the biggest surprise of all for me here. I didn’t even know he was in the movie before I saw it, and I didn’t know he could do more than just stupid comedies.

Visuals

They went a little extreme on the lens flares a few times, but not to J.J. Abrams levels or anything.

Product Placement

There was just enough of it to annoy people like me who look for it.

Rewatchability

It was a little long, but I’d sit through it again.

Click here to subscribe!